Things they don't prepare you for when becoming a parent

I have had an eventful morning.. the girls are currently dancing in their room.. issak is playing with his friend outside.. so im taking a moment to literally laugh. I thought id share my laughter with all of you. 

20 Things they dont prepare you for when you have a lot of kids..

1.you will never poop , pee, shower, or fart alone ever again.
2. oh.. is that your food mommy? No.. no its not. Its mine now.
3. i just ate 7 pieces of bacon and six eggs.. but im completely famished....starving.. whatever "cant I atleast have a piece of bread"
4. did you tell me no? Im going to scream for 20 minutes.. that has to change your mind.
5. ive been silent for 20 minutes.. did I just hear the phone ring? I need everything ive ever needed NOW
6. Moms sleeping.. im going to scream like im being murdered.. mmmooooommmm
"what do you need are you ok.. whats wrong"
oh.. I just want some water.
7. Boogers are made to be eaten
8. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are a delicacy. No.. I dont want that casserole that took you 2 hours. Pb and j stat
9. Wait.. is this a fancy restaurant?. . Oh they dont have McDonald's chicken nuggets? Im going to scream now
10. Its bedtime.. im finally a sleep.. wait mom just put in a dvd.. "hey mommy what cha doing.. ya got popcorn?"
11. Is it Thursday and time for your show? I wanna watch doodlebops now.. and im going to cry until its on.
12. Walls are made for crayons.. im freaking Picasso
13. Mommy's boobs are so interesting. . I want to touch them in public because im a weirdo.
14. I just saw a guy with no legs mom.. "hey man why dont you have legs"
15. 6 am on a saturday? Pssh where's my pop tart?
16. Every sibling is wrong but me and I must tattle immediately. .everyone must know.. "HE is being mean to mmeeeee"
17. Wait.. we've listened to let it go 1 million times? "Mommy can you play let it go"
18. MOMMY STOP THE CAR THERE IS A FLY AND HE IS GOING TO KILL ME!!!
19. Mommy's cleaning.. "mom can you come look at the world I built on mine craft. No it cant wait 5 min.. you must come now"
And last but not least. .
20. Parking lots are free for all's and made to run in. .. especially into on coming traffic.  Right?

Hope this made you laugh. This all happened to me in the last I dunno 24 hours..

Jess ♥

The letter to a potential step mom

Since coming to terms with me.. and being in a much better place.. and Happy. So so very happy. I wrote the following letter, to the other woman that will be in my kids life. I decided to share it, because I know others who are going through divorce and step parenting and all that jazz, and thought it might help other people. Being a co- parent is hard guys.. It is the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my LIFE.. It hurts.. causes jealousy.. makes you question if you are in fact a good mom. But looking back, and comparing my life then.. to my life now... I may struggle.. (and for those who really know me.. you know I do) but I know what being happy feels like. I know what it feels like to get up and not being angry.. and to truly let stuff go, and find me.. So that's how I was able to write this. To the woman dating my children's father, I know that this is an awkward talk. I realize that we may spend years being a little uncomfortable around each other. You're about to become the mother (whether it be "step" "bonus" or just plain "mom") of my "life" (or kiddos). I'm preparing to share you with a title I hold very dear and close to my heart. We are fixing to enter into a tense, emotional, and very difficult relationship that probably won't work out the way either of us has planned. However, we are going to attempt it, and make it work because both of us have loved the same man... and hopefully (once you meet them) the children he has fathered. I am not going to waste your time convincing you how AMAZING my children are. You'll find that out all on your own. I am not going to tell you about their quirks, or their favorite foods, or which one likes to snuggle. (psst it's Morgan) You deserve the opportunity to know them and form your own opinions. Your relationship with them will be much different than mine because you will share your own memories and secrets. I am going to make a request that I hope you will consider. Don't love them half heartedly. Don't hold yourself back in fear of competition or confusion. Because, the fact of the matter is "my kids" are about to become "our kids". We are both going to care for them in our own way. These "babies" we are raising aren't going to worry about the toys. They aren't going to care about rules that were set by whom... They are going to be blessed by the love of 4 "parents". (some birth and some not) They are going to have more role models, more people who want the very best for them, and more places to turn when they're confused and upset. We are obviously not in a traditional family here, but we will have more opportunity for perspective and love because of it. Over the years we may disagree... We may have different opinions on how to approach discipline and schooling. I will try my best.. my very best...to be fair and rational when discussing these choices... I want to present a united front to our kids when we make a decision. I hope we both can remember, we are only doing what's best for these "crazy gingers" that are in our lives. I want to talk openly and keep the lines of communication there so we all can be comfortable. More than anything I do NOT want you on the side lines afraid that you are going to hurt my big "momma sized" ego. Please do not setup boundaries in your relationship with our kids. When you and Jon started dating and you agreed to meet the kids you (maybe unknowingly) took on the responsibility to become a "parent" to our children. you pledged to love them just as you did their father. I am happy that Jon and my sweet babies will have another person that cares about them in their lives. I am not worried about the first mom/ second mom issue. I am not concerned with establishing my place.. (I have made my place in their lives already). It won't help anyway. What will help them to adjust to this family dynamic is to know that every parent they have, loves and cares for them. To know that we are all here to support them as they grow. I want to be in this journey together. We do not need to be best friends, though I have NO problem if we were to become close. We do not need to agree all the time, though I hope we will always respect one another's opinions. I just want us to be on the same team. So, from the very bottom of my heart, I want to welcome you to our very silly, beautiful, fun, and crazy special family of red heads. God speed.. you are going to need it. Jess Busy b Jess.. <3

My encounter of an amazing valentines day.

I had the most remarkable valentines day.

In case you guys were not aware. I have been dating someone exclusively for a few months now. We have been talking for 3. We went to high school together. . Actually sat right next to each other on graduation day. He has fallen in my lap.. and he puts this ridiculously retarded smile on face.

Happy. What is that? Hell I haven't known that for such a long time. But he makes me incredibly happy.

My first amazing Valentines day went something like this . He works nights so he stopped by on his way to work. I gave him something.. and we talked for a bit. And he left for work. He kept commenting about the rain. Eventually he told me to go outside.. my car was covered in gifts. Chocolates... cards..

I cried.

I brought the stuff in and cried.. he called and told me not to cry...and was so.incredibly sweet.

I have to keep reminding myself that I deserve this.... I deserve happy and this truly amazing guy.

Josh.. you're the best. I am so glad you asked Cori about me a bit ago.. I'm a lucky girl.

J

Just a little glimpe

I never thought I'd be here. In the single mom world.. when you get married the entire goal is forever. "Happily ever after" but the actual reality is not happily ever after. Even those amazing marriages you see.. have their bad parts.

I never thought I'd be starting over before my 30th birthday.

My ex husband and I had our first child young. ..we were young and in love and Issak surprised us.  Followed by marriage.. 4 miscarriages and then madalynn.. then morgan. 13 years I was with him... married for 9.. he was my everything.

I won't bore you with the demise... or the sad details of everything that happened. Most of my friends know anyway.. the point of this blog is to share a little insight to people who've not decided to leave.. or that have left and are hurting.

I left.. yeah. I did. There were a million other ways I could have done it.. but the point of the matter is.. I did.

I would cry myself to sleep.. every night. There were days I couldnt move.. it hurt to see couples.. it hurt to see families.  (It still hurts to see families) .. and honestly.. its an onward battle. I will do great for a long time.. and then I will completely break down. Usually it couples with other stress..

How I get through it.. is my kids... surrounding myself with people who actually want to be around me..

See this battle has also shed light on my true friends.. people who are there.. then there are those who are so happy in their own life they dont know what to say.. so they say nothing... then people who are there to the point that them not being there hurts.. all of my friends have their parts.. this goes for family as well.

Ice cream helps too.

I am not ready to think about step parents.. or anything like that.. it still hurts.. and another thing.. falling in love again scares me. I miss love.. I miss cuddling with someone at night.. God being lonely.. its horrible. For those who've never gone through this.. you dont know lonely.. that lonely when your babies are gone.. and all you want is to sleep.. that lonely...

The point is this... yeah Valentine's day is coming.. yeah ill be alone.. because I dont have a "boyfriend".. I don't have plans.. what will happen that night? Ill cry.. ill eat ice cream.. and ill probably be a mess. But I bet the next day ill laugh.. get over it..  divorce.. its a one day at a time thing.  Even when its complete.. it takes a piece of you. .

So here is to figuring it out.. taking one step at a time.. and falling in love again. To finding amazing opportunities. . And being happy.. and good luck..  

Divorce sucks.. life doesnt.. here's to moving on with a vengeance.  Wish me major luck.

Good luck to anyone this helps. Im here if you need to vent. Xoxo.

J

But how can you be happy without cake?

It's been a while...

This year has been crazy nuts.  Let me go into the nitty gritty. 

I've literally lost me.

You see..you think you know who you are..and then something comes along and shocks you to the core. Everything you thought you knew about yourself. ..gone. in an instant. A new you..

This year has been full of heart break... misleadings..torment...turmoil..but also overwhelming love.

I have felt unrequited love for a while. Its hard loving someone who doesn't love you back the same way. Sometimes it take a catastrophic event to make them realize what they are missing. Regardless,  going through that process was draining. 

You see.. I'm a believer of the devine.. things happen for a reason.. there is always an outcome. And "he" is always 8 steps ahead. God knows what our fate will be. .. He knew before we were born. However, having continued faith that he "has this" is hard. 

Its 4 am.. and I'm wide awake. Because this is the quietest part of the day. I can sit and reflect on tons of stuff. Somethings I don't even want to reflect on.  I'm trying to give myself a moment to get back to me. Problem is... I am not sure when that will be. I need patience. I also need support and love.. and for people to not be so blind.

Sigh... I need a mind eraser... and reprogrammer that tells me.. I only like salads.. that I do not like cake.. and that I am blissfully happy.  But howwww can you be happy without cake.. ?!?!

J
 

Wait for it.. LIfe hubba what

"Life is way to short to be anything but happy" I am going to make this short and sweet, but its been a bit. Anywhoo.. the above quote is just.. well right. I know people right now who are miserable.. Life comes at ya, and you just can't get up.. it knocks ya down like a tidal wave. BUT you keep fighting.. Stuff sucks.. for real.. it does. Your job, coming home.. mad spouses, whiney kids.. It happens to the best of us.. I am going to try to look at my positives daily.. (because in all honestly with the "let down" that i experience on a daily basis.. I have to) I challenge you to do the same.. What is your joy? What are you grateful for today? Share it, do it... :D Jess

Battle of the.......

2 years ago today, I was working at the MSC. I thought that was where I was supposed to be. I thought that my life as I knew it was going on the path it was supposed to go on. I was quite content working my claims, making no money, and doing it everyday and being miserable Monday through Friday. On the weekend I was mom. Little did I know that Morgan getting sick with Bacterial Pnuemonia would change my life. We all caught the flu, and Morgan's went into bacterial pnuemonia. I had missed 2 weeks of work, and with no FMLA left because I had just had her earlier that year, my job was threatened. Then Jon said, Why don't you just stay at home? I decided that he was right, it was dumb for me to work for what little i was bringing home, and be ridiculed by my satan of a manager everyday because my children were sick. (Mind you their policy was 3 absences in a calendar year... yes! I said 3) In March I resigned. I found kiddos to watch and started to stay at home. I lasted 6 months. Now, do not get me wrong. I loved staying at home. BUT and I put a HUGE emphasis on the word BUT, It was not for me. My best friend set such and example, and was there to help me every step of the way.. (thanks Jess) and she is by far one of the best stay at home mothers I have EVER known. You see it takes a very strong person to do that. I am strong, but I yearned to do more. For me, I missed the interaction with adults, and I missed my work. Staying at home made me realize how much I really yearned to start my career. I was offered a temp job as a Business Office Manager at a local nursing home.. (and i got this only because my aunt thought of me on a fluke one morning when they were searching through their candidates) I immediately accepted, then did one of the hardest things I have ever done, Which was to tell a parent I could no longer watch her children. (and let me tell you, I loved her kids. Trey and Max were by far some of the best children I have ever had in my home. I miss them EVERY day :( ) Kids started daycare with a friend... and that was another battle entirely. While one daycare was awesome, and so was Home sweet Home, it was so hard to decide, but knowing a dear friend was struggling, when another was not as much, helped me make that decision. It sucked because i do feel I lost a great friendship over it, and knowing sweet kiddos and their family. Although I still see her on FB, it is not the same. :( Heather at home sweet home was remarkable to my children. Morgan immediately fell in love, and Maddy has made a best friend for life in chloe. I wouldn't change my decision only because of the life long friend I have made with Heather. She is truley an inspiration to all women. Her strength and courage is outstanding, I am honored to know her. Heather was diagnosed with breast cancer soon after the girls started going to her. She watched 5 sometimes 6 children while on chemo. Strong is not even the word. She also had radiation, and is currently done with all treatments. She is getting her sexy back, and I am so proud of her! I worked at Imperial for 6 months and was told my position was to be eliminated. In december I was asked to join the team at corporate as the Lead Medicare Biller. I have been here for almost a year now. I make almost double what i made 2 years ago. I am on my career path. I know I can and will advance here. I love, and I mean LOVE my job. I love the people I work with (which includes my best friend Brittany, so I can not complain). Also, I will say it sucks that I do not live 5 minutes from my friends anymore, BUT I would not change our decision to move. (In case you didn't know we moved this month to Nashville to be closer to mine and Jonathons jobs. We are also planning on saving money so we can eventually build our own home on land in the next few years) The purpose of this post is basically to say..2 years ago I had NO idea that i would be here. I was content to not be happy. To be miserable forever, just because I did not think I deserved more. Although this last year has been CRAZY, INTENSE, MAJOR etc.. I am happy where I am and where my family is, and what the future holds. If you're not happy with where you are, make changes, take risks. It may not work well the first time.. (as in my case with staying at home) but eventually the risk has to pay off right?? You are worth what you invest in yourself. Now, to go to college for my finance degree before or after we build.... hmmmm that is the question that Jon and I have to decide. Busy is as busy does J