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Monday, September 15, 2014

Getting comfortable...my journey at the year mark

"It's all so simple when you break it all down..two roads converged down the hollow ground..it's taken all my life to hear the sound of sweet simplicity..."

Ahhh simplicity.. Getting comfortable.

You go through this traumatic event.. that blows your entire world sky high...then you start to heal. You join support groups..you talk to your friends (the ones that are actually there to listen) you lose friends along the way.. But ultimately you heal.. now.. a year is behind me.. and I'm stronger..And I'm happier.. And I've moved on. But.. does it still hurt? YES. So much at times that I in fact have to will myself out of bed. But..I do it. Maybe not smiling..But I do it.

Why do I do it? Because I don't have another choice. My kids don't care if I'm sad that stuff failed. They care about going swimming..going to the park..playing baseball..dancing.. that's what is important to them. And so that is what's important to me.

Now..the moving on thing is tricky..

"I'm in love in love with a wonderful guy...that's what's the matter with me.. "

Yes. I met someone who has become my person. His family is wonderful..and I can see a lot of future there. Which is incredible..because if you know my boyfriend you know why I say that I wasn't sure where we would go in the beginning. And at the time..I was ok with that.. I wasn't ready for serious.. now..I can't imagine my life without him. It's crazy how things work out. I can't believe it's been 10 months.. they have flown by.

Making the decision to let your heart go after a divorce is so Damn hard.. it is HARD. But trust your heart..

My friends.. I've made New ones with this new job.. But ultimately they know who they are.. the ones who have been there for me and will continue to be there for me. I love you

Basically I'm writing to say..hey I'm doing ok. I'm happy. But the battle isn't over.. it's just not. And I have my moments where I may just not look it. Dealing with an ex is hard.. and sometimes..I may need help..and prayers..and good thoughts.

I'm humbled by my journey..and know I'm still climbing a mountain.. But I'll climb a little and stop and see a glimpse of the beautiful view..And I know it will be worth the climb..

Hopefully when I make it I'll build a house and stay this time.. maybe I'll finally have a real happily ever after.

It can be done..