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Saturday, September 22, 2012

Battle of the.......

2 years ago today, I was working at the MSC. I thought that was where I was supposed to be. I thought that my life as I knew it was going on the path it was supposed to go on. I was quite content working my claims, making no money, and doing it everyday and being miserable Monday through Friday. On the weekend I was mom. Little did I know that Morgan getting sick with Bacterial Pnuemonia would change my life. We all caught the flu, and Morgan's went into bacterial pnuemonia. I had missed 2 weeks of work, and with no FMLA left because I had just had her earlier that year, my job was threatened. Then Jon said, Why don't you just stay at home? I decided that he was right, it was dumb for me to work for what little i was bringing home, and be ridiculed by my satan of a manager everyday because my children were sick. (Mind you their policy was 3 absences in a calendar year... yes! I said 3) In March I resigned. I found kiddos to watch and started to stay at home. I lasted 6 months. Now, do not get me wrong. I loved staying at home. BUT and I put a HUGE emphasis on the word BUT, It was not for me. My best friend set such and example, and was there to help me every step of the way.. (thanks Jess) and she is by far one of the best stay at home mothers I have EVER known. You see it takes a very strong person to do that. I am strong, but I yearned to do more. For me, I missed the interaction with adults, and I missed my work. Staying at home made me realize how much I really yearned to start my career. I was offered a temp job as a Business Office Manager at a local nursing home.. (and i got this only because my aunt thought of me on a fluke one morning when they were searching through their candidates) I immediately accepted, then did one of the hardest things I have ever done, Which was to tell a parent I could no longer watch her children. (and let me tell you, I loved her kids. Trey and Max were by far some of the best children I have ever had in my home. I miss them EVERY day :( ) Kids started daycare with a friend... and that was another battle entirely. While one daycare was awesome, and so was Home sweet Home, it was so hard to decide, but knowing a dear friend was struggling, when another was not as much, helped me make that decision. It sucked because i do feel I lost a great friendship over it, and knowing sweet kiddos and their family. Although I still see her on FB, it is not the same. :( Heather at home sweet home was remarkable to my children. Morgan immediately fell in love, and Maddy has made a best friend for life in chloe. I wouldn't change my decision only because of the life long friend I have made with Heather. She is truley an inspiration to all women. Her strength and courage is outstanding, I am honored to know her. Heather was diagnosed with breast cancer soon after the girls started going to her. She watched 5 sometimes 6 children while on chemo. Strong is not even the word. She also had radiation, and is currently done with all treatments. She is getting her sexy back, and I am so proud of her! I worked at Imperial for 6 months and was told my position was to be eliminated. In december I was asked to join the team at corporate as the Lead Medicare Biller. I have been here for almost a year now. I make almost double what i made 2 years ago. I am on my career path. I know I can and will advance here. I love, and I mean LOVE my job. I love the people I work with (which includes my best friend Brittany, so I can not complain). Also, I will say it sucks that I do not live 5 minutes from my friends anymore, BUT I would not change our decision to move. (In case you didn't know we moved this month to Nashville to be closer to mine and Jonathons jobs. We are also planning on saving money so we can eventually build our own home on land in the next few years) The purpose of this post is basically to say..2 years ago I had NO idea that i would be here. I was content to not be happy. To be miserable forever, just because I did not think I deserved more. Although this last year has been CRAZY, INTENSE, MAJOR etc.. I am happy where I am and where my family is, and what the future holds. If you're not happy with where you are, make changes, take risks. It may not work well the first time.. (as in my case with staying at home) but eventually the risk has to pay off right?? You are worth what you invest in yourself. Now, to go to college for my finance degree before or after we build.... hmmmm that is the question that Jon and I have to decide. Busy is as busy does J

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Distort as you please

"The devil has put a penalty on all things we enjoy in life. Either we suffer in health or we suffer in soul, or we get fat" Einstein To realize one persons accomplishments, you have to take a step beck. It isn't always about what you're doing. The thing is we all get caught up in our own crap. We don't stop and see beyond our own stuff to realize what we may be doing could hurt another person. Lets talk about how it feels to not be supported by people around you. Many of you know my parents aren't close by, and my brother as well. I do not hear much from them.. I have accepted this for what it is. I am the "out of sight out of mind child". I know they love me, but it would be nice to have my parents around. Now i have my family here, and Jon's family as well. My grandparents are my family for the most part. I am just feeling a little "empty". Let me explain a little further. Jon and I started a band a while ago. We wrote music together and had multiple gigs that NONE of neither our families came out to. No support from any one but our friends. Which I am ok with, or was. But how heavy a heart I have when I see my husband go out with other bands, other people, that are not me..and get his families support. Again, do I think this is done on purpose.. no. Or at least I surely hope not. I think its what i said above.. You have to take a step back and say.. hmm how does this look. My dreams are valid. My dreams are worth something as well. I may lack the talent that others posses, but I try. I thought I was trying enough, but apparently that is not the case. In my home, I am the biggest part of the family. I am mom. I am the caregiver, the nurse, the cook, the everything. My family (children and husband) make me feel that everyday. When I leave this house however, I feel like a stand in, that people think will be replaced. Is this dumb? Probably, and mainly in my head.. probably. I have a habit of doing that lately. I just wanted to get this off my chest.. Feeling left out and out of the loop because of people you love, its a really hard place to be in, and to get over. Hopefully I can get over this sooner rather than later, and hey who knows maybe after 15 years of marriage, maybe I will be thought of as a staying member.. J

Friday, April 20, 2012

Choices, choices

Having a child with ADHD is hard. No, it is not Cancer, or a terminal illness, its not Autism, and its not something more sever, but it is hard. My son has ADHD. for those who do not know Kids with ADHD act without thinking, are hyperactive, and have trouble focusing. They may understand what's expected of them but have trouble following through because they can't sit still, pay attention, or attend to details. When we first started going to a psychologist we were convinced medicating was our only option. It was the worse decision I as a parent have ever made. My son was no longer my son, he was a shell. It makes me cry to think about it now, honestly, and it is something do not like speaking about much either, but I feel as if I need to tell my story so others know what they can expect as parents with a child who has ADD or ADHD. Issak lost almost 15 lbs. (all of the ADHD meds suppress your appetite) As you all are aware, Issak is a small child anyway, so this was a problem. We tried 3 different medication, up'ed doses, lowered doses etc.. non giving us what we needed. This was ridiculously expensive as well. 50 dollars a month, not counting the therapist appointments etc. Yet the teachers at school still complained. So after him being on the medication for all of kindergarten, and a few weeks of first grade, Jon and I decided that medication was not for us. We took him off everything, and told no one. I didn't want Issak labeled. Unfortunately, I had to eventually tell the teacher, it made a difference and she did notice. His first grade teacher had a daughter with ADHD, so thankfully she understood me, and empathized with me. Let me reiterate here with this, My son is an EXTREMELY good student. He makes straight A's, and has a 4th grade reading level. Even with having ADHD. Issak started 2nd grade this year and actually has his kindergarten teacher as his 2nd grade teacher. I thought this would be wonderful. She was great as his kindergarten teacher, however, remember now, Issak was medicated then. AT our first parent teacher conference she commented multiple times about how she felt he still needed the medication, and it benefited him, helped him focus, etc. I asked her if his behavior was bad, no no its not bad, he just has problems focusing. Issak has to change his card when he acts out. meaning, when he speaks, laughs, tells someone to stop poking him, etc.. When he does something that the teacher deems "major" like jokingly try to squirt someone at lunch with his milk, but not actually doing it. They send him to the vice principal who decides throwing him in the MIA room is the best option. The MIA room being In School Suspension. He is 8..... 8. However up until yesterday, I have ALWAYS backed up his school, and punished accordingly, until yesterday. I got a phone call after the school day was over telling me once again my son had bad behavior. (She called me because last time he had an "incident" I never received a phone call, and I called and complained) I asked his teacher to explain, and the stuff she explained were the things I listed above. I stated so basically he was a typical 8 year old boy, where she responded with, No Issak is erratic, he behavior is intolerable. She then proceeded to tell me that since Issak's behavior was so bad he would not be allowed back into guild next year, per the principal. (Issak is rezoned because of our house location, and testing scores, etc) I think I saw red and lost it for a moment, but quickly ended the phone conversation, and called my husband. He went to the school and spoke to the Principal, who informed him that he never said that, and that he would speak to Issak's teacher.

In saying all this, I have decided that based on this school year, my son has been labeled as a problem. This is just, makes my heart sad. My son is brilliant, he is not a problem. Leaving him at this school, and having the other teachers pre judge him before he even goes in their class is dumb...

I have teacher friends who i respect, so I am asking, Why to them. When you guys have a child with ADHD, do you tell the parents they need to medicate? Do you challenge their decision? Do you make them feel like a bad parent?

Why should I as a parent have to subject the clarity of my child to make his teacher have an easier day? I shouldn't. There was no ADHD medicine 100 years ago, and teachers did fine, why are they lazy today? (not all teachers just some) It tears me up inside.

Some of my friends have children like Issak, and I say to them, help. Please tell me what I need to do. Change schools? Private school? Will his treatment be any different.

I will not medicate my child for anyone but him. Period... I want him to be him. Not a drone that a teacher desires.

Frustrated mommy...

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Being grateful for things I can't change

If you're happy and you know it
clap your hands!

If you're happy and you know it
clap your hands!

If you're happy and you know it
then your face will surely show it
If you're happy and you know it
clap your hands!

Beauty is in the eye of the be holder... I behold, that my life, though not perfect, has moments of absolute joy.

This morning, I got up, and I was breathing.. JOY! I walked into my girls room, and although Maddy has peed the bed.. She wanted a hug, and asked me later to snuggle and give her kisses.
Maddy as a baby

Morgan, gosh Morgan.. I swear that little girl melts my soul. She makes me have such complete happiness. Just in her smile, and when I get home she screams "MOMMY!!!!!!!!" and she literally doesn't stop talking the entire time..

LOL Issak, he is SO smart... I swear that kid will blow your mind just with a short sentence.. Such an amazing kid..

Then my husband.. sigh.. I am so blessed.. He is leaving to go to band practice, he feels crummy.. and he says he wishes he could stay home. I wished he would've too.

I know sometimes life gets the upper hand...and we tend to focus on the negative, but I am so blessed.. in many things... My career (yes my career.. it is not a job...) My family, my lifestyle change, and living healthy, my friends.. So many positive things... :)

Take a moment to look at your life, and share your Joys every day.. My challenge to myself is to share a joy with everyone on my FB until May. Maybe I can make it an everyday habit. I challenge you to do it too!


Thursday, March 1, 2012

Sometimes you need to be reminded what love really is.

Love is the quiet understanding and mature acceptance of imperfection. It is real. It gives you strength and grows beyond you - to bolster your beloved. You are warmed by his presence, even when he is away. Miles do not separate you. You have so many wonderful little films in your head that you keep replaying. But near or far, you know he is yours and you can wait.

This love is unconditional affection with no limits or conditions: completely loving someone. It's when you trust the other with your life and when you would do anything for each other. When you love someone you want nothing more than for them to be truly happy no matter what it takes because that's how much you care about them and because their needs come before your own. You hide nothing of yourself and can tell the other anything because you know they accept you just the way you are and vice versa.

It's when they're the last thing you think about before you go to sleep and when they're the first thing you think of when you wake up, the feeling that warms your heart and leaves you overcome by a feeling of serenity. Love involves wanting to show your affection and/or devotion to each other. It's the smile on your face you get when you're thinking about them and miss them.

Love can make you do anything and sacrifice for what will be better in the end. Love is intense,and passionate. Everything seems brighter, happier and more wonderful when you're in love. If you find it, don't let it go.

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life:

That word is love.



Sunday, February 12, 2012

The note you'll never see

"This is the memory
This is the curse of having
Too much time to think about it
It's killing me
This is the last time
This is my forgiveness
This is endless"

Losing a friend is hard, even though it is for the right reasons....

Sometimes you lay awake at night, and wonder how you got here. How things changed, and how you became less important... Then you start thinking about all your what if's.. What if i could just rewind time like 4 months so I could stop some things..but then you ultimately realize that yes, the same story would have played out no matter what actions could have been changed on your part, because that "friend" wouldn't of changed. Then, I want to smack myself for staying awake playing it over in my head once again.

I am dumb because I am still letting you reside in my mind, instead of truly moving on.. I know it will take time, i wish I could blink and forget the last 7 years with you, but I can't and it sucks..

What's even worse, is now all your problems are my fault, I have created this pit you're in, when I really haven't. But that's what you believe, and its not a loss to you, you're not hurting because this is your vengeance. I try to make myself understand why, and I can't. How its so easy to not see me or my family. How hard it is for me to explain to my daughter you won't be around anymore. How I have had to delete all of your pictures, and take down paintings, and hide necklaces to try to force myself to not think about it. It really doesn't help. I try to make it seem like its not bothering me, but secretly it really does, and I think about it a lot..

You see I have felt a huge distance for about a year, like this gap, that's scary because I have tried to ignore it, but it was always there. I can't think of what triggered it, but the independence from the divorce, and the friendship with S I am sure had a lot to do with it. Then in the last few months, I barely recognize you because of the amount of changes you've made. Regardless if they positive or not, the ones that are not, are the very ones I am bumfuzzled about.

I am racking my brain to understand when we all became less important. when we became less of a constant in your life. Lately you have told me, you need to find your place, your happiness and you need time. How selfish is that? What was I going through when you were getting divorced? What about your first home treatment? I pushed away my troubles for you because you needed me. Have you thought about that? Have all the times I have relinquished time with my family to you meant nothing? You can't do the same for me? You do not have kids, and you can't do it? If you're not there for others when they need you, then why would they then need to be there for you?

I am 27 years old, and i have never lost a good friend, a "bestie" as you would say. I am hurt, and heart broken, and I can't forget about it, can't let it go. I even bought you a birthday present out of habit.Its as if I have lost a limb. I had to block you on my phone because I have caught myself dialing your number....

Maddy asked for you this morning, and it sent me into tears. She asks for you often and it always breaks my heart, you were her favorite you know?.

I know you will not see this, and I guess that's OK, but I really needed to get this out, so I can maybe find solace today, and forget it for a little while. I will always love you and have a place in my heart for you, but I can't be ok with the way things have been, and I can't be ok with not being on someones "list", and to make even more of a point, I will not let my kids not matter, I won't let them get hurt again.

Its an onward cycle.. one day it won't hurt as bad...


Tuesday, January 10, 2012

The end of times

Quotes for me.. just for me

Hanging onto resentment is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head.
-- Ann Landers

Let go. Why do you cling to pain? There is nothing you can do about the wrongs of yesterday. It is not yours to judge. Why hold on to the very thing which keeps you from hope and love?
-- Leo Buscaglia

Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it's all over.
-- Gloria Naylor

You are responsible for your life.
You can't keep blaming somebody else for your dysfunction.
Life is really about moving on.
- Oprah Winfrey

In life, there's many things that we have to learn to let go. We have to let go of situations, things, memories, people and even ourselves.

It's easy to form an attachment to people and things. When you've formed an attachment to people and things, it can be a very painful experience and feeling when you realized that it's time to let go. Even the mere thought of not having that person or thing in your life just squeezes your heart in pain.

However, there are times where you or that person has changed to the extent that it's necessary to let go of the relationship or friendship, so that each of you can fulfill your life path.

Letting go of your past and memories are also extremely hard. Even though old memories can be tormenting, yet you might hold on to the past and refuse to move forward. However, by refusing to let go of the painful past, it'll serve as a roadblock to love.

Letting go of your old self and the process of letting the new you emerge can be one of the scariest experiences in your life. But by leaving behind your old self and taking a leap of faith into the unknown, it might just reveal what you are truly capable of becoming.

As i sit here crying at loss, loss of a very close friend, my heart hurts. Not at the loss though... it hurts at my meaning. Or the absence of what should have been my meaning. I was nothing, not important, merely a burden.

I am worth much more, I am worth time, I am worth phone calls, I am worth love, and I am worth friendship. NOT the mediocre kind either. GREAT friendship.

Sometimes you put walls up, not to keep people out, but honestly to see who cares enough to break them down, and she didn't.

I know people come in and out of your life for a reason. I guess for me, I just never expected that season to end.

“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes.”

This quote is perfect, because it is exactly what I feel right now. The way you react and what attitude you have speaks volumes about yourself. I need to work on this, a lot. My attitude is piss poor right now, about a lot of stuff.. but this has affected me to the point where I am so lost,confused, out of it etc.. that I don't know what my attitude is saying...

BUT, today is it.. I cried, I talked about it, prayed, called my therapist. Cried on my husband, talked to my friends, talked to my boss, and that's ENOUGH. I will not waste my life with feeling let down anymore. Loss sucks, but I have family, and other things that are more important than this.

"We can always participate in loose talks to curb our boredom. But when it comes to you friends its not worth it. Always avoid talking behind the back about your near and dear friends"

Two Frogs

A group of frogs were traveling through the woods, and two of them fell into a deep pit. When the other frogs saw how deep the pit was, they told the two frogs that they were as good as dead. The two frogs ignored the comments and tried to jump up out of the pit with all their might. The other frogs kept telling them to stop, that they were as good as dead. Finally, one of the frogs took heed to what the other frogs were saying and gave up. He fell down and died.

The other frog continued to jump as hard as he could. Once again, the crowd of frogs yelled at him to stop the pain and just die. He jumped even harder and finally made it out. When he got out, the other frogs said, "Did you not hear us?" The frog explained to them that he was deaf. He thought they were encouraging him the entire time.

There is power of life and death in the tongue. An encouraging word to someone who is down can lift them up and help them make it through the day. So be careful of what you say. Speak life to those who cross your path. The power of words... it is sometimes hard to understand that an encouraging word can go such a long way.

.For my friends, I ask this of you... I need you, not every moment of every day, but sometimes. I need love, and to know you are a live. To know you care and that I exist in your world. in return, I will be there for no matter what you may go through, even if it is 1 am. (although, I may be pissed :P) just be there... thats all. Its not much, but it is what this girl requires.

It doesn't take much to remain my family, not much at all. For now, I am going to eat a bowl of cereal and curl up in my cozy bed with my husband holding me, as he has the whole night while I have cried, and attempt to sleep this horrible day away.


Sunday, January 8, 2012

New Year

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And auld lang syne!

For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne.
We’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.

And surely ye’ll be your pint stowp!
And surely I’ll be mine!
And we’ll tak a cup o’kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.

We twa hae run about the braes,
And pou’d the gowans fine;
But we’ve wander’d mony a weary fit,
Sin’ auld lang syne.

We twa hae paidl’d in the burn,
Frae morning sun till dine;
But seas between us braid hae roar’d
Sin’ auld lang syne.

And there’s a hand, my trusty fere!
And gie’s a hand o’ thine!
And we’ll tak a right gude-willie waught,
For auld lang syne.

Happy New Years!


Gosh can you believe it... I am still sitting here open mouthed, gaping that its here. I have had quite a turbulent year, full of a TON of things. I am happy to say that my Thyroid came back clean. I have a tumor that is NOT cancerous, I will have to be monitored every three months due to its size, but hey its better than what it could have been. I got a new job, lost it, and got another job, which I LOVE. I am so blessed. I have decided that i will look at this year differently, starting by letting all my followers read something I read that really changed my pespective on a few things (THanks Katy Blake)It's called 30 things to STOP doing to your self

Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth. And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.

Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on. No, it won’t be easy. There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems. That’s not how we’re made. In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall. Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time. This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.

Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself. Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves. Read The Road Less Traveled.

3.Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too. Yes, help others; but help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.

Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else. Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you. Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.

Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.

Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing. Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success. You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.

Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us. We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future. Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.

Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive. But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.

Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either. You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else. Read Stumbling on Happiness.

Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place. Evaluate situations and take decisive action. You cannot change what you refuse to confront. Making progress involves risk. Period! You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.

Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.

Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely. It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company. There’s no need to rush. If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.

Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you. But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.

Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others doing better than you. Concentrate on beating your own records every day. Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.

Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own. Ask yourself this: “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”

Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you. You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough. But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past. You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation. So smile! Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.

Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart. You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate. Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.” It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.” Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself! And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too. If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.

Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.

Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway. Just do what you know in your heart is right.

Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.

Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things. The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.

Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done. Read Getting Things Done.
Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile. Don’t take the easy way out. Do something extraordinary.

Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while. You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well. You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears. The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.

Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life. When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.

Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out. But making one person smile CAN change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world. So narrow your focus.

Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy. One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time? Three years? Five years?” If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.

Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen. Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story. If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.
Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life. Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs. Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

I am telling you, I am very much an offender of doing more than half of this list. I will make the necessary changes to make MYSELF happy this year. It is a year for me, and my family, and NO ONE else. Good luck to all this year. Faith Hope love, and blessings, lots of blessings.