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Saturday, June 26, 2010

Never....and I mean EVER again

I will do everything in my power to help in anyway possible to find a cure for CF, because the hurt and pain i see it cause, it just shouldn't exist.... People haven't even heard of Cystic Fibrosis... I can't be idle anymore.. I can't wait for someone else to do it.. If not our team then who?? To find a cure money is needed.. follow my link and donate!! PLEASE! Don't let another child die from CF!! Please



RIP CONNER JONES... Stay safe in Gods arms.. Breathe Free..

Busy Bee

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Because it makes us stronger....

Sometimes life throws us a curve ball...a problem... People say that God only gives us what we can handle. People say the strong just keep getting stronger. What if we are all strong enough??

I have seen heartache through so many others eyes lately, that it hurts my heart. The pain of a child dying is 1 thing, but to see it in such an abundance.. well frankly.. IT SUCKS! Sids, and CF, and Heart conditions taking our precious children.

It makes me thankful, but at the same time makes me hurt. I don't want others to suffer.. I don't want others to have to go through this pain. I know Gods grace is there, but what if they do not?

So this is a moment of silence, for those who have been lost or sick lately... For Marcus,and Mina, for Connor who's is still with us fighting one breath at a time. Everyone breathe deep, and sigh that you have your family, you are safe, and you've made it through another day... And say a silent blessing to these tiny babies...Babies that have/are struggling...And kiss your children one extra time tonight.

Live everyday like it is your last.... Say kind things, love like its going to run out, and breathe...breathe because you can!

Busy Bee

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

A new chapter of life...

At times I sit back and think about my life, sometimes just because and other times there is a monumental event that happens.. a catastrophe.. a bad moment, that makes me look in retrospect to what my life is all about. I think that on certain points the person i had become was not the person i envisioned myself as becoming. Getting down to the logistics of it.... I was disappointed in me. Disappointed in my life, and disappointed in general. This of course came about because of a big "catastrophe" where i behaved ... well stupid... just plain stupid that's the only way I can even begin to compare or talk about the way it happened and the way i was.

I think the thing is that life is SO stressful at times, that you can actually forget about the simple things that make it special. The overwhelmingness ( i made this word up LOL) that is life takes a hold, and its full throttle 90 mil;es an hour constantly.. without looking back or seeing what we have mowed down in the process.. Whether it be our friends, family or our marriage.

For most people when it gets to this point they don't even realize it until its too late, and they are left in the dust trying to pick up the many pieces of life..Thankfully I saw it happening in slow motion, mind you, right in front of me...

I didn't like who i was becoming and the negative effect that I was having on the family around me.

So jump in postive changes.... I started re reading and studying hard some of the lessons out of our last Relief Society book, and i stumbled across the Lesson on Eternal Marriage.. Its funny because it is Joseph Smiths recillection of his own Marriage, and of how he treated his family and most of all how he treated his wife. It's fair to say that I still find myself learning so much from him.. even though i think I have learned all there is to learn, i feel his spirit guiding me to re read his thoughts and actions.. and What a blessing it has been...

I am starting to focus on the "JOY". The happy points of my life, the blessings that I have received etc.. The Simple Joys that my husband gives me everyday, and telling him those joys to ensure that he knows that I see the good.. (even if that particular day we are surrounded by bad) I am taking pride in my home, and loving my family. Not sweating the small stuff.. WHO CARES if maddy is whining.. she will whine and she will get over it.. theres no reason to stress. Everything will get taken care of eventually.. no matter what happens.

These small changes have made such an immense difference in my marriage, in my children, in my heart. I swear it has grown 4 times in the last week. I have so much love pulsing through it that its crazy. I have missed my husband.. truly missed him to the point of pain, and almost wanting to cry, I haven't missed him like that in years. Not to say that I loved him less or more, but the way I feel for him now is truley different than any other time in our marriage.

I do not plan on changing anything back to the way i was, nor do i say that everything is just changes in me, other things have changed as well, in him. I hope this is what the future holds because i know that i can live everyday knowing I am coming home to this happiness.

Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord. First Corinthians 11:11

I will Find Joy, Find it in all things, So then i may find Peace.

Peace and love to all
Busy Bee J