Let the waves up take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion... yeah
Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down
Let the rain come down
I'm sinking to the bottom of my
Everything that freaks me out
The lighthouse beam has just run out
I'm cold as cold as cold can be
I am in dire need of strength.I am having trouble finding myself in this mess of who I am right now. I am not sure why... I can not point it out, give you a reason, track it down. I have tried... Frankly, I am tried out. I haven't suffered some immediate huge episode, or traumatic event. Matter of fact my life is pretty average. I just seem to have lost myself at the moment, and have let the "seas" of depression sneak in for a bit. I am still a capable mom, and I love my kiddos, the chores get done, and I sit down with Jonathon, but I am completely empty at the moment... by the end of the day, I am "joyed" out. I am exhausted, and tired, and feel absolutely emotionally inept.
It is almost like I am mourning someone... The loss of oneself maybe? I am grasping at straws here honestly.. I feel like a ghost in my life, I am living it, but really am I? Or is it living me? 99% of the time people see me as happy bright uplifting and fun, but lately I have not achieved this. I seem like I am in a bad mood. I don't tell people my feelings, or what I am going through... Its hard to decide who you can actually speak to in your life without having to hear 1. their advice...2. how they overcame what you are currently going through..or 3. how much better their life is. DID you just hear me? I am currently feeling like a gaping pile of doo doo, and I do not care if you are happy... I am not..Help me, instead of boosting your ego.
I am currently running on fumes, and going through the motions... please excuse my absence in your life at the moment, as I am pretty confident mine is not quite where I need it to be, and I need to fix me right now. help is appreciated, but please don't do what i mentioned above....
I feel so broken....
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